where the wild things are

Two years ago this weekend, I visited Lindsay in Durham. Like any normal, well-adjusted, college graduates, we went to see Where the Wild Things Are, and fell in love with it.

I can show you your kingdom.

This is all yours.

You are the owner of this world.

Will you keep out all the sadness?

I have a sadness shield that keeps out all the sadness, and it's big enough for all of us.

Right Here and Now

I would like to lead you all down the following thought pathway. Ask yourself these questions. How many of us spend the majority of our day with our minds running? From someone or something, or to some place or some when? How many of us get lost in our own heads? How many of us are daily stricken with worry, about the future, about life, about everything?

More importantly, are these thoughts and things we dwell on in our mind -- life? Am I living my life fully if I am lost in my head? And the answer to that is no. When we are lost in our thoughts, in our worries, in our schedules, our mind is not focused or aware of the now moment. The NOW is our life, here, on this planet. The NOW is our consciousness, aware in this physical moment. If we are not in the now moment, we are not living the life that is happening RIGHT NOW.

Lindsay was a master of the now, a master of living in the moment. When we shared our lives with Lindsay, it was if time disappeared, as if it stood still. We were only ever aware of each monumentally individual moment of life, with her. And Lindsay continues to do the same now, and anchors the vibration of love and the now. We're lucky to have shared in her physicality, and lucky she is with us still, in the now.

Each moment of our time here on this Earth is so precious, and remember tomorrow is a promise to no one. Let's learn to consciously focus on living in the now, learn to live in each moment, learn to trust in the universe, and learn how to just be. Love.

Bags

Just Thinking

I'm in class right now with thoughts wandering and as seems to happen ended up thinking about Lindsay. Thought I should post so that others who are thinking about her know they're not alone.

The Storm

As I write to ya'll in this moment, I am greeted by an amazing spectacle of nature. There is a storm outside, and the world is weeping. Its tears are punctuated by hiccups of thunder, its eyes squeezed shut into tight slits of lightning. It roars and poars with an eerie disregard to the rest of the world. Storms discriminate against no one and no thing.

Many of us have found ourselves confronted by a storm. Many of us have danced with the storm, and many still have lived within the storm. It's easy to feel lost in its presence, to be afraid, to be consumed in its shadow. But we must always remember that storms end. Confusion, panic, pain, anxiety, aimlessness, everything is consumed by the rain. With the rain comes peace. The rain washes everything clean. The rain refreshes. The rain renews.

Lindsay fills my mind as I watch the rain fall. She loves the raw nature, the life all around. She takes joy in its simplest of pleasures. All sound is drowned out by the rain, except for the whispers. And even my deaf self can hear the whispers. Whispers from Lindsay, whispers from the universe, whispers from the energy all around us that we are blessed, we are not alone, and we are loved.

Enjoy your life, enjoy every single second and every breath, for tomorrow is a promise to no one. Be present at all times. Simply be. I know Lindsay does, and I know Lindsay is. Love.

Bags

Keeeepers

Like Helen, I spent a rare moment communing with nature this weekend. Molly and I went on an especially long run in suburban virginia on Saturday. The trail we took follows the historic W&O railroad tracks, and tucked among developments, highways, and office parks, it is a corridor of green, air buzzing with frogs, insects and birds; one birdsong in particular even reminded Molly of her yard in Chagrin. All along it, there are designated wildflower patches, "growth areas" to improve stream water quality and reduce erosion, old railroad tracks here and there and even a repurposed rail car. I spotted a hawk and couldn't help peering over a concrete barrier to look for fish in the stream. The thought of Lindsay loving this place followed me all morning, and I felt a certainty that it is in these many unexpected pockets all around us that her spirit has come to settle.

Grasshopper!

I visited the tree Wessel & I planted for Lindsay this morning-- and there was a little GRASSHOPPER on it! Now I knew they symbolized many wonderful, lucky things, but obviously I had to come home and do some research:

"A grasshopper's appearance indicates a time in which we will experience great leaps of happiness. It teaches us to trust our inner voice and to act upon it. The grasshopper can be an enlightening messenger of ingenuity, resourcefulness, joy and honor."

I think Lindsay is sending us all a message today-- one of happiness brought on by listening to our true voices and embracing all we can do. I miss you Lindsay-- thanks for the grasshopper messenger. I'll try to bring my camera next time so everyone can see how your tree is flourishing!

Love, Helen