I am enormously grateful to Kelly. This year for Christmas, she gave me The Fault in our Stars, with a note that a writer could not possibly better capture Lindsay, me, cancer, loss, and love. Upon completion, I felt grateful to John Green for writing such a relatable and poignant story. One particular page seemed apt to share today:
"I can’t talk about our love story, so I will talk about math. I am not a mathematician, but I know this: There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There’s .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million.
Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.
There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I’m likely to get. But my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and for that, I’m grateful."
Lindsay's life was a limited collection of infinities. Many, many times a day, I see a sign of LAR. Something that triggers a memory- like Billy Joel blaring in the CVS, a giraffe tee prominently featured in the window of an Elmwood boutique (obviously purchased!), one of her favorite quotes scrawled on the wall in a dive bar in Cambodia. And each time I feel her in that moment, I am adding digits to our numbered days. She’s commanding a presence in my everyday through fate and fortune. Adding depth, color, and relevance to one of the memories of her I cherish. As I’m sure many of us feel today, I am grateful to LAR everyday for the infinities she left behind for each of us.