Please use this blog to remember, share and honor ALL that was the endlessly charismatic Lindsay Rawot. This Cruel Summer banner was personally designed by Lindsay as the header for one of her own blogs.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

An expression of gratitude

I am enormously grateful to Kelly. This year for Christmas, she gave me The Fault in our Stars, with a note that a writer could not possibly better capture Lindsay, me, cancer, loss, and love.  Upon completion, I felt grateful to John Green for writing such a relatable and poignant story.  One particular page seemed apt to share today: 

"I can’t talk about our love story, so I will talk about math. I am not a mathematician, but I know this: There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There’s .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million.

Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.

There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set.  I want more numbers than I’m likely to get.  But my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and for that, I’m grateful."

Lindsay's life was a limited collection of infinities. Many, many times a day, I see a sign of LAR.  Something that triggers a memory- like Billy Joel blaring in the CVS, a giraffe tee prominently featured in the window of an Elmwood boutique (obviously purchased!), one of her favorite quotes scrawled on the wall in a dive bar in Cambodia.  And each time I feel her in that moment, I am adding digits to our numbered days.  She’s commanding a presence in my everyday through fate and fortune. Adding depth, color, and relevance to one of the memories of her I cherish. As I’m sure many of us feel today, I am grateful to LAR everyday for the infinities she left behind for each of us.   

No comments:

Post a Comment