Please use this blog to remember, share and honor ALL that was the endlessly charismatic Lindsay Rawot. This Cruel Summer banner was personally designed by Lindsay as the header for one of her own blogs.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Clare Eberle


It is not hyperbole to say that Lindsay might have been the greatest friend the world has seen. The size of the girl's heart amazes me endlessly. I think I would sum it up as this: she made new friends everywhere she went, but still managed to treat the old ones like gold.  She was constantly raving about an awesome person she had just met in class, or at the bar, or at her hair salon. I'll never forget when Lindsay and I were just getting to know each other- I was so flattered, and surprised, that she wanted to go out to dinner, just the two of us. She gave me a Christmas gift before I knew we were on a gift-giving basis. She invited me to hang out with her cool older friends on West Campus. Which reminds me, in fact, that Lindsay might have been the cause of at least one missed flight from RDU. But later in our friendship, she didn't hesitate to pick me up, totally defeated, from another failed flight attempt, and take me out for milk shakes (I do believe I owe Lindsay quite a bit of ice cream). She treated everyone- especially her friends, but truly everyone- like they were extremely important, and this example was her greatest gift to me. Lindsay inspires me daily to be a better friend, and even, if you can believe it, a better stranger. I'm not quite there, but I'm working on it feverishly. It is my ultimate, utmost goal to deliver to my loved ones the degree of gratitude, generosity and dedication that Lindsay extended to everyone around her.

She also inspires me to grab life by the horns, to seize the day and do something good with it. This spring, I decided on a total career about- face, to leave something familiar for a new path and new, very scary city. There were some precarious moments, to say the least, and there will be many more; but my admiration of Lindsay— and some if our shared interests— had inspired my new plans to begin with and when push came to shove, I very vividly heard her voice in my ear: Clare, I think you should go. I think it'll be awesome. That was her ethos: There's an adventure to be had- and gosh darn, it'll be had. Every time I think of Lindsay, her hunger for living fully and gleefully reminds me to get out there and drink the world in.

Lindsay, I want you to know what an amazing 25th birthday you had here on earth. We at 4029 rediscovered the childhood bliss of the 2-wheeled vehicle, and the accompanying freedom. We saw a city that you loved, and we had like a million ebullient toasts. We wore some damn sparkly outfits. So there, girlfriend. Cheers to you.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Happy Lindsay Day!


Dave Furfaro

Lindsay has inspired in many abstract ways, but in the past 6 weeks her influence has been far more tangible. I just started working in the hospital, and each time I see a patient Lindsay is a constant reminder of how to appreciate them. Perhaps the patient is like Lindsay in that they are loved by and love so many, and bring the people around them constant, unrelenting joy and laughter. No matter who the patient is I know that Lindsay would care about each of them and I try to carry her lessons with me into each room.

Anne Rhett

Lindsay did birthdays best. For those lucky enough to have been within Lindsay’s gift-giving network, it is common knowledge that the girl was the queen bee of picking out presents. Her generous spirit coupled with her impeccably hip taste enabled her to gift friends in ways they had simply never been gifted before. She had an uncanny knack for leading you the very products, ideas, and people you would later ask yourself how you possibly ever lived without.

Although I am not particularly keen on keeping track of my belongings (Clare can attest that our weekend mantra in college was frequently “Where is my phone/coat/dignity?”), I have actually managed to hold onto every gift that Lindsay ever bestowed upon me over the years.

My very favorite bit of all of my Lindsay Swag is actually the card that came to my doorstep, tucked in a Fed Ex parcel, Christmas 2009--the year I “made my debut.” The importance of the box’s contents pales in comparison to the value I have derived from the pithy message attached to it. The note read: “Congratulations and welcome to society! I love you and whatever person you become.” (If you must know, the gift was the ever-venerated Olsen Twin’s Coffee Table Book Influence--an impossibly impeccable choice.)   

This note was short (unlike Lindsay) but fabulously witty, sweet (like Lindsay), and reading it for the first time made me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside and like a superstar on the outside (like Lindsay). I read the subtext of her message loud and clear: Dear Anne, I forgive you for not being born an Olsen and like/appreciate you anyways. Love (despite the odds), Lindsay.

 I tacked the card to my mirror, and there it has stayed, a constant reminder of the thoughtful friend and  “woman of society” that Lindsay was.

As I have navigated the ups and downs of the past year, trying my hand at “becoming” a “person” of sorts in the so-called real world, I have found constant comfort and inspiration in knowing that, despite my mistakes, Lindsay would accept and love “whatever person” I am becoming.

If it is true what they say-- that to have friends, you must be a friend--it makes perfect sense that so many people grew to love and cherish Lindsay in her short time here. Her generous friendship required no pretention or prerequisites--it was her ultimate act of gift-giving.

The rules were simple: Come as you are. Check your pretense at the door. Have a pierogi. Have two pierogis. And a chocolate chip pancake, whydontcha?  Be what you will be. (Whatever person that may be!) I will love you anyways.

As heartbroken as I am that I did not get the chance to watch Lindsay become the dazzling person she would have been, I cherish the gift that was our time together and am comforted by the knowledge that so many people, whatever kinds of people they may be, were irreversibly changed for the better thanks to her presence. (And her presents, of course.)

I want to truly thank all those who have found a way to honor Lindsay in their lives. I am humbled by your accomplishments and know she would have been wowed as well!

Molly Magnuson



Lindsay inspires me to reach. Reach, I suppose, can mean many different things for many different people. For me it meant 20.2 miles longer than my usual 6 mile reach, at best.

Lindsay inspired me to take this risk- because what fun is it to stay ordinary and  content if you’re not pushing yourself for something more meaningful and fulfilling?  It’s not the actual tangible success at the end that matters so much, it’s the act of getting there.  People quickly forget that the ride is just as important as the destination. The drive, the reach, the journey, is both the telling and testing part, and wherein lies the true test of whether you are a moral, happy and selfless person (something I’m “reaching” to be).

The character she displayed and upheld throughout her battle is a testament to her genuine, fierce and selfless nature, and I can only hope that exists somewhere within me. Lindsay never did the nice thing because it was the “right” thing, she did the nice thing because it was the nice thing to do. She inspires me to instill this mentality into everything I do, professionally and personally. Be nice. Be kind. Be real.

I feel a bit at a crossroads with my life at the moment. Your typical quarter life crisis, if you will (this is me being dramatic, something Lindsay always pointed out….i hope lovingly?! J) Luckily, Lindsay reminds me I am one damned lucky girl to be at a crossroad, and whichever way I go, as long as I keep reaching, ill be just fine.

Happy Birthday, Linds :)

Jen Zwilling

Lindsay has brought me closer to incredible people. Her memory serves as a constant reminder of the type of friend that I want to be. I like to think that i have learned to treasure my closest friendships and (try to) not get caught up in all of the little things that don't seem to matter as much anymore. Amanda and I seem to share our friends. Looking back, I feel like Lindsay was one of the first people that really got that. Lindsay quickly became not just "my sister's friend" but my friend too. In many ways, Lindsay has brought Amanda and I even closer over the past year and has reminded me how lucky I am to share my friends with her, and grow closer to friends like the ones I will spend today with in DC. There is something about having Lindsay in all of our hearts that I really believe acts as an instant bond, like some sort of test that we have all passed simply by being a friend of Lindsay's, a mutual understanding of the way we will treat each other, and an unspoken promise to keep her with us and celebrate life in her honor, especially on days like today.

Amanda Zwilling

I think that it’s only natural to be influenced and inspired by one’s best friends to a certain extent.  Personally, though, I know that the number of ways that Lindsay inspires me on a daily basis far exceed that of a typical friend.  Many of the ways that I’ve been inspired by Lindsay over the past few years are extremely obvious; I’ve worked to establish and raise money for a scholarship in her memory at Duke and I’ve committed myself to increasing the number of donors in the National Bone Marrow Registry.  I’m a vegetarian, and I try to be as eco-friendly in my daily life as possible.  I overaccessorize proudly, and feel way less guilty about shopping online.   While these are extremely important on a practical level, the ways that Lindsay continues to inspire me on a day-to-day basis are far more meaningful to me:

Lindsay inspired me to believe that family is your most important and best friends.  I’ve been fortunate in that I’ve grown up in an unusually close and supportive family, just like Lindsay.  Although I’ve always known that my parents and siblings are a source of unconditional love and support, I learned the meaning of this on a different level through the Rawot family.  Billie, John, and Brandon would and did do absolutely everything in their power to support Lindsay emotionally and physically, and the mutual love, friendship, and respect between Lindsay and her family was tangible.  I have been inspired to know the true meaning of family through the entire Rawot family, and what it means to be completely selfless and dedicated in a family bond.  I have never cherished my friendship, love, and trust, with my parents and siblings more than I have learned to over the past few years, and we have all discussed the Rawot family’s influence on this.  

Further, I’ve learned that your best friends truly are the family you choose.  As Emily perfectly described it, Lindsay treated her friends like kings and queens.  Lindsay taught me that true friendship has no bounds.  It was without thought that I committed myself selflessly to my friendship with Lindsay after she was diagnosed, but Lindsay has inspired me to really understand who my true best friends are, and commit to those friendships with no abandon.  Lindsay knew the meaning of true friendship, and showered her best friends with love, support, encouragement, advice, and the most perfect gifts.  This memory continuously inspires me in my friendships, and I strive to emulate her quality and strength of relationships in my own.

Lindsay has inspired me to allow myself to be passionate in everything that I do: friendship, love, crushes who will never be love, my education, fun, partying, learning, reading, discovering the world around me; I’ve learned never to apologize for who I am. Lindsay never settled for less than what she felt she was capable of, earned, and deserved, and I try to hold myself to the same very high standard.   I learned from Lindsay never to be embarrassed or feel compelled to explain myself when following my heart, intuition, or mind, and that my true friends, family included, will be supportive when on these endeavors.  

I’ve been inspired to live more spontaneously.  As I wrote about on the blog last year, Lindsay loved to be spontaneous and lived life with a certain attitude of ease unattainable by most.  I’ve tried to take the little things in life less seriously, and be more spontaneous when it comes to fun and following my heart.

Lastly, Lindsay has inspired me to never, ever give up.  I have never met someone with the level of determination and fight that Lindsay embodied, both during her battle with cancer and before.  Lindsay taught me never to give up whether the battle is something small that is merely important to me, or something as consequential as life.  Lindsay’s perseverance gives me perspective everyday, and I feel so lucky to call Lindsay my inspiration, role model, and best friend.

LAR – I miss you more and more everyday, but you are in my heart and with me in everything that I do.  You have touched and inspired more lives than most could ever hope to, and I am so proud and lucky to call myself your best friend.  Happy 25th Birthday Linds.  Infinite love, hugs, and kisses, today and always.

Tillie Lopez

I was just thinking about how last Blossom I was leaving Billie's after lunch and was driving back to Nashville with Johnny, feeling so regretful for not having been able to attend Lindsay's funeral. Being with her family that day and seeing her room and her things just laid so heavy on my heart.  Honestly it was through the things you and Molly did that healed me so much. Visiting you guys in DC and attending your fund raiser, what a blast. I loved getting to know you more. I feel more grateful now than regretful.  

For starters I joined an adult volleyball league the spring after Lindsay passed. Every game LAR was written on my wrist. And in my typical fashion, I wore eyeliner to every game. Which Lindsay loved to make fun of me for back in the day. Always applying my makeup before the games. :)

Molly's journey to running the full marathon for Lindsay and the LLS was such an inspiration. It was through that that the LLS foundation took on a new meaning to me. Last year my uncle had a 50th birthday party roast in NY. Since I didn't live there, I made a video to send him. WHoever roasted him best won a 1000 dollars towards their favorite charity. I do a pretty sweet New York accent so I of course I won :) Without a doubt I knew it had to go towards Molly's marathon fundraising. Molly quickly met goal but didn't stop there. Decided to go the extra step. Because she knew that's what Lindsay would of wanted, would of done for her. Love that about Molls.

That fall I decided to run my first 1/2 marathon. There was a race in Nashville benefiting the LLS foundation and I took it as a sign. I was healthy and able, and I was going to run that race. I knew every breath, every stride I took was a gift and if Lindsay was still here, she wouldn't take it for granted. I ran that race for her. I attached a picture of what I write on my arms every time I run. Lindsay was an athlete. We were cheerleaders and volleyball buddies and now in spirit she is my running partner. http://tillielopez.blogspot.com/2011/11/reason-to-run.html
The blog I wrote the day before I ran it. Talks about you and Molls running her last 6 miles and her inspiration in me running.

I guess lastly, one of the best ways I heal is through song writing. The song I wrote for her is about her struggling but always keeping positive.

I'd trade any of this in a heartbeat for one more day with Linds but I see God's goodness in all this. Her life was an inspiration and still lives on in each of us. 

Lea Trinetti

I think about Lindsay very often and my thoughts and memories of her continue to inspire me to always live life in the moment, don't plan too much ahead, take life day by day, and enjoy every moment.. even the moments in which we just sit and think to ourselves...To always keep things interesting and exciting, and to remember that doing what we love to do is SO important. She inspires me to run my hardest, learn all I can in a given day, be open minded, make new friends, and love with all the love I have in my heart :)

I know that is how she lived her life and how she would want all of us to continue to live ours..

Dave Steines

I was just using Lindsay as a source of inspiration over the weekend. I'm going back to school in the fall, FYI, so writing personal essays has been a popular theme in my life. How has Lindsay inspired me? In short, her writing is awesome. I read her casual conversations posted on the blog from time to time and they sound scripted. When I am having trouble writing I read her writing to get inspired. Then I usually start from scratch because after reading her writing, mine sounds terrible. 

Mary Rubino

Anyone who has ever spent a significant amount of time with me probably knows that I don’t bop out of bed with a smile on my face when my alarm goes off every morning. I do like to get my full 14 hours. When I eventually roll out of bed and stumble into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth, one of the first things I see is a little stuffed giraffe that Anne sent us last summer, and it never fails to bring a smile to my grumpy face. Lindsay’s “power animal” has always made me laugh, and I can’t think of a better or more bittersweet way to start the day.

When I actually stop and think about it, there are little pieces of Lindsay everywhere I look. Whether it is in pictures or keepsakes, bright jewelry or shiny dresses, she has woven her little ways into my life in a way that keeps her close to me every day.  She reminds me to turn off the tv and go outside.  She reminds me not to apologize for what I want or who I want to be. Sometimes she reminds me that the gym is boring and Chick-fil-A would be a better long-term choice. She reminds me to check shopbop new arrivals daily and to browse the 70% off section for deals. She reminds me not to settle. Not in work, not in life, not ever. Sometimes she even reminds me to recycle – not always, but I’m working on it.  Most importantly, though, when I think of Lindsay I remember to be happy. It’s funny how something so simple could require a reminder, but I think sometimes we all need one - and no one was better at it than Lindsay. Happy birthday Linds – miss and love you always.

Brooke Thomas


Almost exactly a year ago (June 2011), I made a donation to a friend (Kathryn Hampton - also a former resident of Chagrin Falls) for her participation in Pelotonia - a grassroots bike tour that's one goal is to end cancer. Kathryn's mom passed away from a long battle with breast cancer. Through Pelotonia, Kathryn raised $20,000 total for cancer research and rode 102 miles. She wrote Brandon and I a letter afterwards just to let us know that a few of those miles were for Lindsay. She also wrote that she still keeps her Be The Match donor identification card in her wallet, with the hope that someday she can help someone fighting the awful disease.

Last year, we took a short backpacking trip in the Smoky Mountains and Brandon came way too close to getting bit by a rattlesnake. In fact, we're not quite sure why the snake didn't bite him since we scared it and it jumped up, coming only a couple inches from Brandon's arm. Shortly after the encounter, a man and woman came by, both on horseback, and asked us if we were okay (apparently, we were both pretty obviously scared shitless). Later that night, when we were setting up at camp, I asked Brandon what I should have done if he would have been bit and we both came to the conclusion that the horses would have played a role in carrying him to safety.

For our backpacking trip this summer, we are going to Yosemite. I know this is one of many places that Brandon and Lindsay traveled to when they were younger with John and Billie. I always enjoy the stories about the Rawot vacations - each one is epic. I love that Lindsay continued this passion for traveling when she got older and I'm inspired by her love of adventure.

A couple months ago, I was offered a job to coach junior high volleyball and I wasn't sure if I wanted to accept it. After much thinking and discussing with Brandon, I decided to take it on. Lindsay has inspired me to try new things and pack life full of adventures. Not to mention, I think she would totally "dig" the fact that I'll be coaching volleyball, or at least attempting to.

So, in order to be certified to coach, I had to take a training and CPR course. When I got home Brandon told me that when Lindsay was really little she would pretend to do CPR on her stuffed animals, she would push on them and say "UPS" (wrong initials, right idea). There is nothing I love more than when Brandon tells me stories about Lindsay - mostly because it's from the perspective of the most loving brother in the world.

Sara Stricker


Lindsay,



I am trying to put into words the ways you have inspired me this past year. I wish I could say that I accomplished all of my life goals or did something extraordinary but I can't say that I did. Even though I didn't, I feel that I am starting to become the person that I want to be and I have you to thank for that. Whenever I am feeling down, unaccomplished, lazy, you are my reminder to do better. You make me strive to be a better person, to take what life has to offer and to not waste a single day because nothing is for certain. You are such an inspiration to all of us, the memory of you studying for your finals while sitting in a hospital bed is something that I will remember for the rest of my life. You could have taken the easy road and just postponed your graduation but you were always striving to do your best, no matter what the circumstances. I have tried to incorporate this mentality in everything I do, nothing ever seemed out of reach for you, you always were the best version of yourself. I want to strive to live a better life since I know you were not given the opportunity to. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and I am trying to understand why God would have take you away from us but the only thing that comes to mind is to make everyone around you become a better person, to strive to be the person that you were. You have touched so many lives, I wish I could explain to you the type of role model you are to everyone and will continue to be from this day on.  Below are a couple of specific ways you have inspired me this past year, just to name a few....


1. Read with passion. One of my fav books now is the Art of Racing in the Rain and I just purchased Saddled which I am sure I will love just as much.


2. Never take life too seriously. You always had a way of seeing the best in everything, you never seemed to have a care in the world.


3. Be yourself. I was always envious of you for you knew exactly who you were, I continue to remind myself of this trait.


4. Treat your friends like kings and queens. True friendships are rare, the powerhouse still lives on, you as the ringleader of course.


5. Look for beauty in everything, in everyone. You truly knew the meaning of this, I continue to try and find the best in everyone, you never know how someone can impact your life.


Missing you everyday Linds, xoxoxo.


Love,


Sara 





KelRo


Raw dialogue. Not originally meant to be a play on words, but really hits me as a striking coincidence! Rawologue even. One of Lindsay's greatest legacies lies in what I have deemed something ever present- an ability to be in touch with a stream of consciousness, an inner discourse. It is your friend!  It makes "nothing" moments into "SOMETHING"! It makes "EVERYTHING" instances into nothing at all. It is a life perspective, a way to narrate your own humour into every situation. To find comedy, signs of a greater life, plan or meaning in some of the most trivial or frustrating situations. Or simply just a framework to think about events, non-events, and all things in between.
What might I be talking about? Lindsay has left us all with many "tangible" leave behinds of this "intangible" lesson. I find myself referring the most to her blog "Hospilarity Ensues." I could read and re-read her Rawalogue over and over again…her analysis on hospital gowns, interactions with fellow patients, suspicions of others internal dialogue, and descriptions of painful procedures. I laugh! I always do. Not just because she infuses humour into every experience, but also because she demonstrates the way her brain worked. Paragraphs about details, happenings or moments that might whiz past the rest of us. Also demonstrated in almost all conversations, emails or tweets.
I have found myself making strides to channel this stream of consciousness…find that entertainment, cosmic value, and a Kelly induced perspective in all things that happen to me. My bus broke down? I am wearing two different shoes to work?  F*CK THIS? Perhaps. But, perhaps in addition to internally screaming obscenities, these are little things that I can laugh about or learn from. It's not all fun and games…life certainly doesn’t always hand us good material. But we all damn well get used to engaging and listening to our raw dialogue, Lindsay style, if we have any hope of making the most of it! 

Leah Grimm



Where to begin with how Linds still is alive and well in all of our everyday lives - I'm sure I'm not alone in saying something new reminds me of her every single day! Sometimes it's a memory, sometimes it's a story you want to share in a conversation about "my best friend who...", and sometimes it's just noticing something that you know she would appreciate as much as, and probably more than, you do.  So, here's to knowing that these times will continue to surprise us and bring a massive smile (or even a tear) to our faces as we remember and cherish those irreplaceable memories.

One of my favorite reminders that she's still with me every day is the sign of her on my work bag.  One (of many) of her fabulous accessories that I was lucky to receive was this silk scarf.  And as the one who is usually more cautious about adding that extra piece of flare to my look, I was at a loss of when/how I could possibly wear this!  Thankfully, in a flash of Lindsay brilliance, I realized it would go nicely with this bag - so it's been tied (extremely securely) there ever since.  I never imagined how much happiness this little piece of her that I carry with me would bring me every day! 

Who knows what the next thing that reminds me of her will be - but I can't wait :)

LYMY forever Linds-welcome to your mid-twenties :)

Alicia Burrello

Over the last year the thoughts and memory of Lindsay have influenced my outlook on life in such a positive way. To enjoy everything and everyone around you, and to fully embrace and conquer those things that lie ahead. She is constantly on my mind, and although I still question the why, I embrace her courage and positive outlook on all things.


I most recently went through my box or boxes of everything that I had saved growing up. And as I went through pictures and articles, most predominately volleyball related, I thought back to how we were always mentioned together, she was my go to in volleyball and lacrosse and a friend that I so dearly respected for her humility and disregard for all things negative.


Pop culture related... as soon as the Maroon Five song, Pay Phone, was released, Lindsay was the first person I thought of :) And my recycling is at an all time high.


Think of you on the daily, love you.

David Roesing

We've been doing this thing at the house we call Upfront Night, which is basically a series of lectures that our friends give on topics they're passionate or interested about. Every time we do it the invite list is a huge headache because you basically have to go through all your friends and remember if they've come, or if they'd be interested, or if they're going to be annoyed at being invited to this thing they have no interest in. Every time I do it, I click Lindsay's name and then un-click it because, obviously, she can't attend. But that drive to teach yourself things, to be smart, searching and nerdy, while keeping your dignity, your coolness, your sense of fun and play, those are qualities I associate with Lindsay. Her spirit will always remain as long as we all strive to have events she would want to come to.

Taylor Field

Lindsay inspired me to stop biting my nails. This may seem like total small potatoes compared to running 26.2 miles or climbing a mountain or defeating a dragon. But when you hooked on nail-biting, running a marathon seems easier than stopping to find that perfect little snag to chew on. I'd tried to stop before, but I would last a day or so and then was back at it. It was gross. 

When I was in Chagrin in March - seeing her family and friends and talking about her poise and strength and humor and glow - I started to think about changes I could make to myself to be a better me. Is stopping biting your nails superficial? Maybe. But it had been something I had been trying to do for a long time and never could get the will up to actually do it. Sitting on the plane on the way home, I decided it was time. If Linds could be strong enough to go through everything she did, how pathetic was I that I couldn't even stop chewing on my hands for more than 2 days? And so I stopped. And since that day I have yet to once bite my nails. Ever. And when I get the urge to pick at them, I think about Lindsay and how she would probably say something like "TayFi stop it!" and swat me. So I don't. 

Next mission - marathon running. 

Zak Gebler

This past year, I put on a charity golf outing in Lindsay Ann Rawot's memory. The Swing Fore! Cancer Golf Outing was played in Chagrin Falls, with about 80 golfers participating. We raised nearly $2,500 which was donated to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Events like this are a great way to bring friends and family together while raising money for worthy causes, something I think Lindsay would smile down upon. I look forward to many more years of hosting this outing, with Lindsay's memory as driving force to make the event a charitable success.

Helen Rankin



To Lindsay: Thanks for the New Leaves

Over the past year, whenever I'm feeling restless, I go for a long run and visit Lindsay's tree that Lauren and I planted in New Haven, CT. I happened to visit her tree on the first day of Spring this year, and I'm happy to report that it's growing strong and putting down firm roots. But most of all, it had new, RED leaves (see attached). Ready to begin again... in style. And there it is. That's what Lindsay has taught me this past year. Let me explain:
The thing most experimental scientists can't stand about our job is the relentlessness. Each day we must wake up, go into lab, and deal with the same, continual experimental frustrations in hope of a discovery. But this is precisely where the beauty is. Lindsay taught me this (see rule #14). Every day I get to wake up and begin again. Like putting out new, red leaves in Spring, every day I walk into lab with new questions, new opportunities, new possibilities to begin again. Lindsay doesn't have that luxury. This past year I thought about Lindsay on the days I wanted to leave lab early. I thought about Lindsay when I was ready to give up when the last four experiments failed. And I thought about Lindsay on that day when I discovered something new. Something that could be important to our understanding of how tumors form. Over the past few years, I've been studying JNK signaling-- a pathway known to be involved in tumor formation and growth control. I've made progress understanding how this pathway works, and hopefully I can contribute to our knowledge about cancer to help fight tumors in the future. 

Over the past year, Lindsay has been a constant source of inspiration to begin again... in style. Thank you, Lindsay, for the new leaves.


Kyle Sullivan

In the past year Lindsay has reminded me on a consistent basis of how I want to live the rest of my life because its easy to get wrapped up with other things and forget that we're supposed to enjoy the time we have.

From the Lindsay lessons.

Treat your friends like kings and queens. 

Lindsay has impacted how I view my friendships a great deal. I definitely appreciate having amazing friends more so than ever before. (Chagrin crew, College and DC friends). I can now see that you only get one chance at life, and for some its shorter than others, so you better live it to the fullest. You have to let people know how much they mean to you. And when you're with those people you have to forget about all the worries going on in your life and enjoy the moment because they are truly precious. People will only have so many amazing friendships in their lifetime so enjoy them while you can. There aren't many bonds stronger than friendship so give back to your friends and let them know how you feel. It seems a little dramatic for guys but it is largely done just through actions. I still catch myself losing touch with great friends but when I do, I try my best to let them know what they mean to me. Whether that's through joking around or just seeing what they're up to. I would be nowhere and nobody without my true friends. Lindsay always, always, always made me feel good about myself just by saying that she missed me or how she wanted to hang out asap. This happened a lot during our college years and every time I saw her during summer, thanksgiving or winter break it was like we had seen each other yesterday. When I catch myself not treating my friends like Kings and Queens I try to my best to do so because that's what Lindsay did for me, and for all of her many, many friends.



Embrace life's challenges, no matter how hrad.

I don't think I could ever put into words how Lindsay has influenced me here. No obstacle seems unattainable after seeing not just the challenges Lindsay faced, but the way she handled them. Her strength and will power should be envied by all because I don't know anybody who could have put on a smile the way she did. She didn't want any pity. She just wanted to share in our lives; see where we were, what we were doing, who we were dating and how we were enjoying life. I guess it ties into Lindsay lesson number four because she really just wanted to stay caught up with all of her friends regardless of what she was going through. Every time I think I am facing a tough challenge or I think life is unfair, I remember the confidence and conviction of Lindsay Ann Rawot and I am humbled.

Lauren Wessel



Not I think I can, I know I can
Lindsay was no less than a fireball.  When she put her mind to something, it happened.  She knew exactly what she wanted and she went for it.  She lived life with a sense of urgency that ensured that there would never be a boring moment and with a gusto that convinced us all that we should join in.  And Lindsay was never afraid.   At least, she would never admit it if she was.

In her fearless ambition and in the true spirit of lesson #1, Lindsay has inspired me to set the bar high.

Let me start by saying that Lindsay is in my thoughts everyday and in everything I do.  I simply think of her as part of my life and as a force that makes me better than I would otherwise be.  She is a source of inspiration in my everyday life.

I remember our last conversation like it was last week.  She had recently gotten a bone marrow transplant and finally been released from the hospital.  She said that she would be better by the summertime and she was going to take a whirlwind tour of the whole world, picking her friends up wherever she might find them and dropping them off when she got tired of them.  This was perfect.  I would quit my job, which clearly wasn’t where I should have been, and I would be a tagalong on her tour.  It was set.

Lindsay passed away about two months later, but I wanted to make good on my promise.  I quit my job and I went to Thailand with my brother – I love him, but he wasn’t even a close second to Lindsay.  To be honest, I didn’t make it very far on my own whirlwind tour.  I had to cut it short after falling off of a bike and getting 7 stitches, courtesy of an international health clinic on a small island named Koh Phangan.   I would have been deemed a badass, but she would have tired of my crippled ways quickly and dropped me off at the next airport.  But I did it.

Quitting my job wasn’t just a reckless antic to take a crazy trip.  Quitting my job also took me to medical school.  I had always thought that I would go and wanted to go, but something along the way had stopped me, made me question myself.  Something over the course of the two years of Lindsay’s battle made me forget all of the questions.  I remember in our last conversation telling her that I had gotten into medical school – I was going to be a doctor.  She was so genuinely excited for me, and her excitement then still means the world to me today.  I did it.

Then, there was something that I never thought I would do.  When I got to St. Louis, I questioned a lot of things: why I left New York, why I left my paycheck, why were medical students so weird.  The list was endless (and, fortunately, none of these are standing questions in my mind).   On one of my early runs through Forest Park, which is a public park that Lindsay would undoubtedly love, I decided I needed to set some goals for my year.  On the top of the list was: Join Team in Training.  The fall registration had passed, but I patiently waited for the spring races to open.  I had planned on running a half-marathon thinking, “I’ve only done one before and it’s been awhile, so that will still be really hard.”  When registration rolled around, I decided I would do no less than something I had previously considered to be both ridiculous and impossible.  It was for Lindsay after all, so I signed up for the full marathon.  I raised $5,000 in her honor, and on April 15th I did it.

I can’t think of a much better way to describe it than Helen has already done. "Lindsay was the kind of person who says, 'yes.'  Yes to life, to love, to possible successes, to possible failures, to adventure, to it all."  Lindsay helps me say “yes” everyday, even when it terrifies me or makes no sense at all.  Because of Lindsay, I no longer think I can, I know I can.  She reminds me of that whenever I’m in doubt.

Erica Knee


Last year I wrote a blog post shortly after Lindsay passed, and I frequently re-read what I wrote and the comments I received when I'm feeling down. ( http://www.ericasweettooth.com/2011/02/stupid-cookies-stupid-cancer.html )  This one comment from Ben, a friend from school, really hits home:

"Erica, I'm so sorry for your loss and what certainly sounds like a loss for all of us who might have one day encountered such a truly inspiring and wonderful woman. Not everyone walks away from such a tragedy with a lesson in hand. I'm so glad, and so impressed, that you have chosen to use your dear friend's memory as a tool to do even better in your life (is that really possible for you?). More so, by so lovingly sharing thoughts on her death, you are inspiring all of us; you are allowing Lindsay to live on... even with people who were not fortunate enough to have known her. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that time and the memories that you carry in your heart will help ease the pain of this remarkably unfair loss."

Ben certainly has a way with words, and I couldn't agree more with what he had to say - Lindsay truly does live on.  After my recent engagement, I ran into wedding plans full speed, and booked a venue in record-setting time to ensure I had a Saturday in June for the wedding. Little did I know at the time that the date I chose happens to also be the birthday of one of the most incredible people I've ever met. Ryan and I will be getting married June 8, 2013, and I am so happy that this date will always be a celebration of love and happiness in my life, forever connected with Lindsay's memory.  Happy Birthday Lindsay, we love you!!  

Ryan Schwartz

Trying to describe the impact Lindsay has had on who I am today is nearly impossible. The conversations we had about the world, and what our roles in it could and should be, are woven into the way I think about my life. Her sense of adventure, audacious optimism, and commitment to whole-heartedness have always inspired me to be a better person. In the last three years I have moved across the country, taught high school math, worked on behalf of renewable energy and started my own company. I can’t look back at a single one of those opportunities and not think of how Lindsay helped create them for me. After all, this is the girl who, upon me telling her I was a Philosophy major, replied “No offense, but isn’t that kind of a BS major? I mean, what, are you going to get hired by a Philosophy firm?” I’ve been trying to impress her ever since. One thing about our relationship has not changed since the day I met Lindsay: she makes me want to become a better man, a better human. I know I am not alone in thinking and feeling that way, which is the best tribute I can think of. She continues to be a source of inspiration for so many of us to live and love with all of hearts, bodies and souls. Happy Birthday Linds, wish you were here to see all the wonderful things you’ve done.

Ashley Gildin



Lindsay has inspired me to "Pay it Forward." As lesson 4 stated, "There is no limit to the abundance of generosity Lindsay felt toward her friends." It has truly been rewarding to be able to help not only my friends, but friends of friends and complete strangers. Lindsay took everyone in with open arms and welcomed them as a sister. I strive for that acceptance and kindness every day. 

Lindsay's love and respect for her parents was beyond apparent throughout our time at Duke. She has reminded me that my mom is and always will be my best friend, and when she got sick this year, Lindsay was yet another source of inspiration. I knew how optimistic and strong-willed Lindsay was and that my mom would be just the same. 

Lindsay I love and miss you everyday .

Jen Schwartz

I'm not a person who does well with change. I sleep with my teddy bear from childhood and my driver's license picture is from the day I turned 16. I like stability, predictability and routine. For the past 6 years I have lived in a city 20 miles from my hometown, with tons of friends I've known for over a decade, doing a job I've gotten quite good at. I'm about to take a large leap and quit my job, move to a new city where I don't know anyone, and get a degree in an area that is completely foreign to anything I've ever done or studied before. When considering this choice, a large part of me wanted to stay nicely cocooned in the warm comfort zone I currently reside in. But when I think of Lindsay and all of the adventures in life she so vehemently threw herself into and dreamt of pursuing in the future, I know she's telling me to dive in. It's not that Lindsay was fearless. That's what makes her even more persuasive. It's that she made tough choices in spite of her fears. It's also not just that she would have done something like this herself and succeeded - of course she would have, she was ridiculously intelligent, charismatic and gorgeous. Instead, what inspires me most is that I know she would believe in me succeeding at this challenge. When I see myself through Lindsay's eyes - the eyes which never for a moment doubted that all of her friends and family members could move any mountain they so chose - that is when I truly believe in myself. And on an equally serious note, I'm doing my best to embrace this 80's neon accessories trend because I think she would be on board. 

Davis Mersereau

For the most part, I've always been a social person. Meeting Lindsay, I recognized we shared this characteristic. Creating a friendship was easy and keeping one was never hard.

As I grow older, I experience the flipside - how easy it can be for friends from the past to gradually become past friendships. Remembered when reminded, but not a present prescence. How hard it sometimes seems to not just keep friends close, but just to keep them at all.

Sure, we have email, and Facebook helps too, but these things are only tools, they are not bonds, nor do they really keep us bound.

As mentioned, I recognized in my first encounter with Lindsay that we shared a bond - certain qualities that we both valued and admired. People who knew Lindsay will likely all sing to the same tune of her socialibilty. Naturally so, she became the bond between whole groups of friends and also individuals who then became friends.

And she remains that bond. I see and feel Lindsay's prescence everytime I encounter friends who I know we both shared or whom I know through her.

I keep close with her memory through these friends, and as friends, we all remain closer through our memory of her.

I would be infinitely thankful were Lindsay still here to share new experiences with us all today. However so, I remain fortunate in knowing that the bonds and friendships she created in her life carry on, and I feel blessed by the impact they continue to have.

So, I may not be certain of the future of the relationships I have now with other friends, but I certainly do know that Lindsay's is definitley not just one of the past.

Allyson Sedlak



I wish I could eloquently write how much Lindsay influences me everyday but alas I am terrible with words, always have been.  Nonetheless I will try my best.  Linds influences my thoughts, my actions, my everything - every day, as I am sure she does for most of you reading this right now.  She inspires me to live my life celebrating even the smallest moments.  She is with me as I drudgingly make my way to work every morning and as I hurriedly run out of the office every evening.  She's with me celebrating every moment I am anxiously awaiting and she's patiently waiting with me to escape my most awkward of moments.  

More specifically over this past year, she has inspired me to give back to the organization that not only was with Lindsay throughout her battle with this terrible illness but also with everyone else that has or is continuing to fight.  I was in awe of you all that could complete those outrageous feats of athleticism honoring Linds but I wasn't sure that was what I was called to do.  Instead I thought I would reach out to my local Los Angeles chapter of the Leukemia and Lymphoma society and volunteer for the Light the Night Walk this past fall in Hollywood.  This is an annual walk that is held to raise funds and also awareness for the Leukemia and Lymphoma society.  It was truly inspiring to see SO many people gathering to honor those that were still with us and those that we had lost.  My time spent working at this event was truly amazing and I cant wait to do it again this year.  I even ran into a classmate of ours from middle school -- small world! ( keep in mind we went to a small school outside of cleveland, ohio and I ran into him in the middle of this walk in Los Angeles.  I cant help but think Linds had something to do with this?!)  I had some pictures I wanted to post but then I lost my phone and well I thought I lost those pictures as well... But then I found one picture on my computer!! I was sooo thrilled!! Anyway I know its not the best but its all I have -- To explain the picture, everyone who donated some money and participated in the walk got to do the walk with a Red balloon tied their wrist.  This picture depicts just a small group of everyone walking but you can tell just by this small group how many balloons were in the air that night.  Truly inspiring.

We love you Linds and we miss you so much everyday.  Just know that we will never stop thinking about you and we will never grow tired of your inspiration.